Well, I am sitting here exhausted but I can't sleep. Maybe I am too tired to sleep. There really is nothing on television and I don't have the energy to search my dvr'd list
Back at work. And I am back into the working mommy syndrome. I enjoy the socialization of working and talking to other adults. And having 'girl talk' as J calls it. But I hate being away from my children that long. I wonder most of the day what they are doing, if they miss me, or if they realize I am not there. Or if they are having more fun with Daddy than they did with me. Sad, I know. Almost pathetic
I still don't know quite what to do with myself for a whole hour for lunch. Today I walked to the library, checked out a book, and sat outside on a bench and read. It was just about perfect
Tonight J has class so I have the Claire & Nicholas by myself. We played so hard. I kept the tv off so that I could spend more time with them. We jumped on my bed, had a tea party, played baby goes night-night where I was the baby, read 5 books, they had a bath and are now in bed. Then I scrubbed my bathroom, did three loads of laundry, fixed my lunch for tomorrow, cleaned the living room, and made brownies. It is no wonder I am so tired
Off I go now, gotta get ready for tomorrow.
Back at work. And I am back into the working mommy syndrome. I enjoy the socialization of working and talking to other adults. And having 'girl talk' as J calls it. But I hate being away from my children that long. I wonder most of the day what they are doing, if they miss me, or if they realize I am not there. Or if they are having more fun with Daddy than they did with me. Sad, I know. Almost pathetic
I still don't know quite what to do with myself for a whole hour for lunch. Today I walked to the library, checked out a book, and sat outside on a bench and read. It was just about perfect
Tonight J has class so I have the Claire & Nicholas by myself. We played so hard. I kept the tv off so that I could spend more time with them. We jumped on my bed, had a tea party, played baby goes night-night where I was the baby, read 5 books, they had a bath and are now in bed. Then I scrubbed my bathroom, did three loads of laundry, fixed my lunch for tomorrow, cleaned the living room, and made brownies. It is no wonder I am so tired
Off I go now, gotta get ready for tomorrow.
2 comments:
Don't worry about whether or not they are having more fun with daddy....they most certainly realize you are gone and they miss you! Right now they are just too young to express their feelings.
I have noticed this past year Emma is now able to express how much she misses me or Peter when we are gone. And it really does feel good to come home from shopping or whatnot and have Emma run up and give me big hugs and kisses and say "I missed you, mom."
And you are not pathetic. When I was working I would sit at work and wonder what Emma was up to. The first couple of weeks she was in preschool Peter and I would take turns calling to see how she was doing. Then it was a race sometimes to see who could get there first to pick her up.
I wish I had some advice for you. I'm looking for a job myself right now, but I've had eight years home with my kids, so I've been lucky. I've lived in fear of my husband losing his job and me having to go back to work before I was ready. I cherished every day I had at home with my kids, as I'm sure you must have as well. Your time was too short though. I'm thinking of you and hoping your husband gets a job soon so you can get back where you want to be. Good luck.
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